Woah, I know, it sounds shocking and you kind of want to smack somebody right now, but hold it in, because it gets better. That filter that most people have in their brains that says “Hey, maybe you shouldn’t say this,” was apparently broken and the repairman couldn’t come until Friday because Everett then goes on to talk about how the only point to being in the Army is to get yourself killed and testing your limits! WHAT? How… where is the link there? I don’t see it. Because, honestly, if you’re heading out to go defend your country or whatever reason you have gone to war, I’m pretty sure you didn’t go so that Everett could chill out with all his money and his chick flicks and tell you that you’re whining because you fly high in the air not to get riddled with bullets.

Give me a break. Somebody needs to hire Bill Engvall to walk around with the skinny part of a fishing rod so he can smack Everett in the neck with it every time he lets his mouth run away with him. Man.